I woke up at 6:30 am, was at the gym by 8. Had a good workout and what do I do when I get home?
-diet hot chocolate , peach , animal crackers  & purged.
I have a lunch date with my friend. There is NO way I will keep it in me. I want to go back to the gym later to take a core class and spin, but if i purge I won't have it in me to get through it. I know, 'well then don't purge' - but I have to. I still have to make my appointment with my doctor, I think I will make it more next Monday. I hope I don't get lectured. Further more, I hope she doesn't give up on me because I i've already given up and I feel like everyone else has too. (that probably didn't make any sense).
I wish I could share all of these thoughts with my counselor. Everyweek I have so much that I really want to bring up, but as soon as I get in that room my mind goes completely blank and I can't recall anything. I hate it. I feel like the worst client ever and I'm only wasting her time.
I am FUCKING DISGUSTING!